Here at the blog this time of year, we seek out all kinds of Christmas ornaments. Most of them are tacky or silly or fun pop culture-based baubles.
Sometimes they make us hungry.
Example? The hotdog basket ornament above. The iPhone snapshot doesn’t do it justice. This is a realistic looking dog. And the little container of ketchup!
And what better to go along with it? (Just in case you didn’t get enough on the side.)
It’s the most wonderful time of the year: That’s right. It’s time for iPhone photos of the best and worst and most offbeat Christmas stuff out there in retail land.
Since 1965, when “A Charlie Brown Christmas” debuted on CBS, the images from that series have been a part of our culture. Maybe now more than ever.
A few years ago, Peanuts Christmas decor started popping up, including little figures of Charlie and friends in wintertime scenes.
The ultimate Peanuts Christmas decor has to be the little tree, as seen above.
Nothing like a pathetic little tree to inject some cheer into your Christmas.
Really, though, what I want to see is a larger-than-life version. Surely somebody has turned this little twig into their Christmas tree at home?
This one puzzles me. A Charlie Brown lighted box? To hang over your bar?
Yep, it’s time for more Christmas stuff. You remember how this works, from way back when we were finding oddball Halloween masks, costumes and decor. The Christmas selection is a little less oddball, but there is some offbeat stuff.
Not the least of which is that ornament above, of the guy from MTV’s “Jersey Shore” who calls himself “The Situation.”
I mean, really, who wouldn’t want this guy on their tree? Because really, nothing says the holiday season quite like drunken tanning.
Now this is more like it: A Hallmark ornament depicting the cover of “Avengers” issue number 4, with Captain America leaping out in three dimensions.
That particular issue — the first comic I ever owned, given to me by an older neighbor — was famous for re-introducing Cap, in an arctic deep freeze since the end of World War II.
For a warm and fuzzy feeling, how about pink bunny slippers, part of the ensemble Ralphie’s aunt made for him in “A Christmas Story?” Now you too can feel like a deranged rabbit.
Ah, “Peanuts.” You are synonymous with Christmas for many of us of a certain age. This set of Charlie Brown and friends figures can be purchased separately but, when gathered together, play holiday classics.
As for stocking stuffers, how about Santa Claus’ brother-in-law, Caramel Claus?
And last but not least, you just know Walmart had to get into the Christmas village thing. This village square version of Walmart is a lot more quaint than your typical big box store, however.
More next time!
When I was growing up, the ornaments on the Christmas tree were almost always glass balls. Red and blue and gold and purple, with little wire hooks at the top that made it almost impossible for my clumsy fingers to hang on the branches of the tree, ornaments of that type are still what I think of when I imagine the decorations on the tree.
Some of them were probably the popular Shiny Brite ornaments pictured above, or imitations.
Ornaments — originally German-made glass baubles popularized by big American retailers like Woolworth and Macy’s — were so traditional for so long that it was inevitable that pop culture would eventually work its way into the product.
That point came in 1973, when Hallmark introduced its Keepsake ornaments collection. Those first few ornaments were snowmen and angels and Santa and look pretty primitive compared to the elaborate ornaments of today.
But the world of Christmas ornaments had changed. Before long, we could decorate our trees with Peanuts figures or Barbie or Mickey Mouse.
This year, the retailer is offering scenes from “Star Trek,” comic books like The Avengers and the Fisher Price Play Family Village.
Of course, for the latest iPhoneography Christmas entry, I thought I’d pass along some of the more offbeat pop culture offerings.
There aren’t many more instantly recognizable pop culture figures than jumpsuit-era Elvis Presley. Although this guy looks a little underfed, he’d be a good companion to a “Blue Christmas” theme.
How about Kiss frontman Gene Simmons? Nothing like an extra long tongue to say happy holidays.
And no, I’m not sure why he’s upside down in his box. Maybe that makes him more collectible.
Now this is more like it. “Yellow Submarine”-era Beatles ornaments. If this ornament could talk … it wouldn’t be in the actual Beatles voices.
And you can’t spell Christmas ornament without Grinch. Well, you can’t really spell it with G, R, I, N, C and H. But you know what I mean.
I mentioned Peanuts earlier but couldn’t resist coming back to this item, which isn’t really an ornament but is instead the Charlie Brown version of a nativity scene. Curiously, it’s not really labeled as such. Maybe they thought such a direct reference would offend someone. That would have to be someone who hadn’t seen the Peanuts Christmas special, of course.
More next time.
As Calvin’s dad used to say, it’s a very special time! No, it’s not bath time. It’s time for more iPhone photos of Christmas stuff.
This time: Christmas at the dollar store.
This is too easy, really. Considering the offshore origin of most of these products, it’s probably no surprise that the packaging would contain a misspelling of the word ornaments.
I’m not sure if something got lost in translation here too. I always thought these were called snow globes. Maybe water balls is the acceptable name when there’s not really a lot of artificial snow included, which is the case here.
Here’s something for your jolly old elf and eight tiny reindeer: A tiny lunchbox. Actually, I suppose it’s intended as a gift box. But it would be perfect for taking your Christmas-themed Little Debbies to work.
Here’s some packaging that’s intentionally funny. If it’s too hard to read, the basic joke is that this Christmas cotton candy is guaranteed to prompt a smile in “typically pleasant individuals.”
“If you are a major grouch that doesn’t smile at a puppy or a rainbow then even we can’t help you.”
Cute.
More next time.
I’m ready for your close-up, Mr. Grinch.
A few weeks ago in this blog I noted an early — very early — showing of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” the beloved 1966 animated special adapting the holiday tale by Dr. Seuss.
While I’m not a stickler for “no Christmas before Thanksgiving,” it seemed a little early.
Well, what a difference a few weeks makes.
The classic, animated by Chuck Jones, has at least a couple of airings before Christmas. TV Guide says the special will air Dec. 7 on Cartoon Network, followed by a repeat showing on Dec. 10, also on CN.
I think three weeks before Christmas is about right for watching the Grinch.
Now there is something you should keep in mind. It’s possible both these airings are in half-hour time slots. Since the special is about 26 minutes long, beware the possibility that the show might be edited or even time-compressed, which allows an entire show to air in a shorter period of time by speeding it up. Unfortunately, this might mean that the show would sound more like “How Alvin and the Chipmunks Stole Christmas.” Seriously, I can’t watch episodes of “Friends” on cable TV because they’ve sped up the show so much.
Of course, the reason modern-day airings of classic TV shows are sped up (or edited) is because TV shows are routinely stuffed with more commercials now than in decades past.
Sometimes networks or cable channels air these once-half-hour shows uncut in hour-long slots and add some extras.
And of course, there’s an easy way to watch the Grinch or Charlie Brown learn the true meaning of Christmas without benefits of modern-day tampering: Watch them on DVD.
But there’s something about the communal experience of watching Christmas specials when they’re airing. Facebook was dotted with people commenting on an airing of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” the other night.
Oh, and in case I forget: If you want to watch a modern-day Christmas classic, catch “Olive the Other Reindeer,” airing Dec. 10 on Cartoon Network. It’s a great show, based on a sweet book. I’ll try to come back to the subject of “Olive” sometime before that airing.
You knew it was inevitable: After posting pictures of Halloween masks, costumes and decor available for sale, was there any doubt I would be posting pics of Christmas stuff?
Well, I had some doubts. There’s not as much outrageous Christmas stuff out there — no Navidad equivalents of Zombie Babies, for example — so there might not be enough material for weeks and weeks of posts.
So we’ll see where this takes us.
Since “A Charlie Brown Christmas” debuted in 1965, the “Peanuts” creations of Charles M. Schulz have been forever linked to the holiday for many of us. A few years ago, some canny company began marketing versions of the Charlie Brown pathetic Christmas tree.
So seeing Charlie and Snoopy and pals “decking them halls” on the lawn seems perfectly appropriate.
If you’d like to make a silent statement, there’s good ol’ Snoopy alone. And he’s fuzzy!
I’m at a loss to explain the Santa Pig. Maybe some clued-in reader will enlighten me.
In the spirit of the season, how about a couple of pretty Christmas pics? These are of the big tree in the middle of the Von Maur department store at Castleton Square Mall on the north side of Indianapolis.
Next time!
There are a lot of classic Christmas books and many of them are very familiar and much-beloved. But if you’re looking for an offbeat Christmas book for kids, check out “Santa Calls.”
The picture book by William Joyce tells the story — in tongue-in-cheek manner — of Art, a boy living in Texas in the early 1900s. Art is an inventor and self-styled adventurer who, along with his pal Spaulding, finds a mysterious crate. The box includes the makings of an early airship and, improbably, an invitation to come to the North Pole and find Santa.
Of course, much to Art’s dismay, his tag-along little sister, Esther, talks her way into the adventure.
The three kids find themselves involved in a wild and wooly battle, defending Santa and the North Pole against an evil queen. Art and Spaulding lead the fight and little Esther, much to Art’s surprise, proves her mettle.
The story and Joyce’s writing reminds me of old pulp stories and the ending — and the secret behind Santa’s call to arms — made me misty-eyed.
“Santa Calls” has become a favorite in our household. It’s a terrific and unexpected Christmas present.
keithroysdon 