Category Archives: movies

Movie classic: ‘Francis in the Haunted House’

francis in the haunted house poster

More than a half-century later, it’s hard to imagine a movie studio building a series of films around the exploits of a talking mule and his human sidekick.

Yet Universal, home of classic monsters and classic funny/scary movies, released seven pictures about Francis, an Army mule voiced by veteran character actor Chill Wills (in the first six) and accompanied by straight man Peter Stirling (Donald O’Connor in the first six flicks).

The movies were based on a book and were sent into theaters beginning in 1950 mostly as a post-war military comedy. Francis and Peter went to West Point, joined the WACs and the Navy. Inevitably, Peter got into some kind of jam, Francis dispensed wise-cracking good advice and nobody believed that the mule could talk. Until he did.

My introduction to the series was a 1960s showing on an Indy TV station of the last film in the series, “Francis in the Haunted House,” released in 1956.

francis in the haunted house leads

My view is no doubt skewed by the fact that this, the first in the series that I remember seeing, had a different star – Mickey Rooney – and a different voice – veteran voice actor Paul Frees – replacing Wills as the voice of Francis.

But for a kid who grew up loving not only Universal monster films, including “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein,” I found the mix of laughs and chills perfect.

In the movie, David Prescot (Rooney) meets Francis and, after the initial surprise at the fact this is a talking mule, they set off on an adventure. The two try to help a woman win her inheritance by staying in a supposedly haunted mansion.

In a formula that became familiar through “Scooby Do,” the haunting is being staged by crooks who want to win the mansion and Prescot is a patsy in more ways than one.

There is, however, a foe that Francis and Prescot can fight together: A ghostly knight on horseback.

It’s no doubt true that the Francis formula was more than a little tired by this point. O’Connor bailed from the series before this entry was made and was widely quoted as saying he knew it was time to go when the mule got more fan mail.

But there’s a lot of pleasure to be found in the final “Francis” movie. It’s perfect for “Abbott and Costello” fans.

Classic schlock: ‘The Brain That Wouldn’t Die’

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Believe it or not, I hadn’t seen “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die” in its entirety until just recently.

It is, after all, one of those classic schlocky horror movies, those cult drive-in classics, that everybody is familiar with even if you haven’t seen it. It was the first Mike Nelson “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” for pete’s sake.

Yet I managed to never see more than random clips until I sat down to watch it on DVD the other day.

And what a treat.

Filmed in 1959 but not released until 1962, the movie’s original title was “The Head That Wouldn’t Die,” who was probably more accurate.

The movie stars Jason Evers – a familiar face from the “Star Trek” series episode “Wink of an Eye” – as Dr. Cortner, an arrogant surgeon who is secretly experimenting, Frankenstein-style, on creating life after death. He’s been saving random body parts and assembling a creature that’s kept in the laboratory closet downstairs in his family’s summer home.

Early in the movie, even Cortner’s surgeon father criticizes his lack of humility and unpleasant ambitions.

Then Cortner and girlfriend Jan are in a auto accident and Jan is decapitated. Jan is beheaded in the kind of car crash that is usually found in low-budget movies: Lots of shots of the car careening along a country road, then quickly approaching a guard rail. The crash itself isn’t seen. Neither is Jan’s head, which Cortner wraps up in his sportcoat and rushes from the scene (with as much footage of him running, bunched up jacket in his arms, as there are shots of the car speeding down the road).

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So Cortner put’s Jan … in a pan … at least her head … in his basement lab. Then he begins scouting out a replacement body.

The movie certainly seems to have inspired scenes in “The Re-Animator,” with its head in a pan motif. And “Jan in the Pan” is apparently the nickname for the female lead once she’s … in a pan.

brain that wouldn't die monster in closet

Every cheap horror movie needs a monster and a woman’s head in a pan just wasn’t going to cut it. Hence … the stitched-together monster in the closet.

diane arbus the jewish giant

The creature, the result of Cortner’s previous experiments, is played by seven-foot, six inch Eddie Carmel, subject of a photo by renowned photographer Diane Arbus that depicts Carmel as “The Jewish Giant at Home with His Parents.”

As Cortner goes to a burlesque house to pick out a new body for Jan, he doesn’t seem like a tortured soul looking to save his girlfriend. He seems to be enjoying the view a little too much.

Adding to the overall aura of sleaze: Two dancers get into a catfight, boobs jiggling. Cut to drawings of two cats and a dubbed meow.

Jan, meanwhile, wakes up – well, her head wakes up – and she immediately begins talking to the still-unseen monster in the closet, talking up their mutual need for revenge.

There’s some choice dialogue:

“An operating room is no place to experiment.”

“Very well. The corpse is yours.”

Said during operation: “I’ve been working on something like this for weeks.” Well, tons of research then.

“I love her too much to let her stay like this.” Well, a disembodied head in a pan, yeah.

“The line between scientific genius and obsessive fanaticism is a thin one.”

“Horror has its ultimate … and I’m that.”

And cackling by Jan in the pan. Lots of cackling.

The end credit slide on the copy that I watched still had the original title: “The Head That Wouldn’t Die!”

Late to the party: ‘The Wolverine’ good mutant action

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I didn’t expect to like “The Wolverine” as much as I did.

I grew up loving “The X-Men” and other Marvel comics, although I had mostly exited before Wolverine made his entrance. Of course, the “X-Men” movies put the antagonistic outsider front and center and made him a leading man and household name.

Of course, with the charismatic Hugh Jackman in the role, who could argue that approach?

After “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” though, I wasn’t sure I needed to see another Wolverine movie. Jackman redeemed the character with one line, however, in “X-Men: First Class.”

So with Jackman returning to the screen next summer, with much of the cast from the original “X-Men” trilogy as well as “First Class,” “The Wolverine” seemed like a natural intermediate chapter in the story.

Since the movie came out a couple of weeks ago – and I just got around to seeing it today thanks to vacation time and work demands – I’ll skip most of the plot recitation. Suffice it to say that Wolverine goes to Japan, accompanied by a winsome and deadly young mutant named Yukio (Rila Fukushima) sent to fetch him by a man whom we see Logan saving at the time of the atomic bombing of Nagasaki in World War II.

Logan gets an offer: If he’s tired of life – especially life alone – the young Japanese soldier he saved (now grown into Asian tech titan Yashida, played by Haruhiko Yamanouchi) promised he can make him a mortal man.

The rest of the movie finds Logan playing tag with an assortment of mutants and ninja warriors, in an effort to protect Yashia’s granddaughter, played by the lovely Tao Okamoto.

I think the movie benefits from being a fairly straightforward story punctuated by lots of cool action scenes. There’s not a lot of cross-cutting to other locations or storylines. Not even a lot of set-up for future movies (more on that later).

Random observations: I didn’t expect the end-credits scene, or “stinger,” to be so on-the-nose as far as its lead-in into “X-Men Days of Future Past.” (Spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet.) The scene takes place two years after the events of “The Wolverine,” and Logan is going through an airport, asking to be patted down rather than setting off ever metal detector in the place. Playing on a TV nearby is a commercial for Trask, the company that created the mutant-hunting robots the Sentinels in the comics and next summer’s movie. As Logan moves through the TSA checkpoint he realizes that coins and other metallic objects are moving around on the security tray. It’s Magneto (Ian McKellen) behind him in line. Wolverine pops his bone claws but Magneto tells him that “dark forces” are brewing and that he needs his help.

Why would I trust you? Logan asks, held in place by Magneto because of the remaining adamantium in his body. Magneto notes that he wouldn’t, but …. at that point, Patrick Stewart rolls up as Charles Xavier. Logan is startled to see Professor X alive. “You’re not the only one with gifts,” Xavier says.

Also about that end credits scene: Has anyone noticed that nobody is waiting until after the credits to play out their super-secret scene anymore? For most of the early Marvel movies, the scene (Nick Fury shows up in Tony Stark’s house, Agent Coulson finds Thor’s hammer in New Mexico) touting the coming of the next movie was after the credits. But beginning with “The Avengers” and the woeful version of DC’s “Green Lantern,” the scene has been partway into the end credits, usually right after the principal credits are done.

A couple of exceptions, of course: “Iron Man 3” and its love letter to the Stark/Banner bromance comes at the very end of the credits. And, as we know, “The Avengers” had two credits scenes.

Maybe filmmakers don’t have much faith that we’ve learned by now to stick around until after the last caterer, effects guy and music credit is listed.

Did anybody keep track of how many times Hugh Jackman gets knifed, sliced, skewered with swords and arrows and otherwise pierced in this movie? Surely that number is out there somewhere, Internet?

Pop culture classic: ‘Galaxy Quest’

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I’ve heard the argument made, online, that “Galaxy Quest” is the best big-screen “Star Trek” movie. “Star Trek” reboot director J.J. Abrams apparently said as much. While I think the claim is made somewhat facetiously, there’s a lot to be said for the light-hearted 1999 sci-fi comedy.

Beyond the trappings of the movie, which looks at a group of has-been actors living off the fame of their cult TV show 20 years later, there are a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle nods to “Star Trek” the show, its cast and fandom.

The movie, directed by Dean Parisot, shows us the cast of the former “Galaxy Quest” series in the only setting in which they can thrive: Fan conventions. While the show’s captain, played by Tim Allen, basks in the glory of his adoring fans, the rest of the crew – Sigourney Weaver as the ship’s eye candy, Alan Rickman as the Spock stereotype, Daryl Mitchell as the kid actor grown up, Tony Shalhoub as the perpetually befuddled and hungry engineer and Sam Rockwell as a glorified extra who comes along for the ride – seethe with jealousy.

From convention appearances to openings of electronic stores – where Rickman, so dry and sarcastic, has to trot out a modified version of his catchphrase: “By Grabthar’s Hammer … what a savings!” – the actors bicker and scramble for jobs.

When an oddball group of fans – led by Enrico Colantoni of “Veronica Mars” and including Rainn Wilson of “The Office” in a small role – asks for their help, they think they’re appearing in some elaborate fan-made performance. Soon enough they learn that the “fans” are aliens, come to Earth to find the heroes of the “historical documents” they’ve been watching in space. They’re seeking help in fighting off an evil alien conqueror.

“Star Trek” fans will find a lot that’s amusingly and comfortingly familiar here, from the perils of guiding the huge ship out of space dock to the ridiculous design of the craft itself.

Not to mention the ghettoized duties and personalities of the crew – Weaver’s character gets to repeat the computer’s pronouncements -and the backbiting behavior of the actors, all of who are resentful and jealous of Allen’s very Shatner-esque commander.

It’s easy to overlook Allen’s laid-back performance, but he really captures the bravado of a once-hot actor who still expects to be treated like a star.

Rickman is so good as the irritated Alexander, whose resemblance to Leonard Nimoy and his frustration at always being identified as Spock is dead on. Tony Shalhoub has some of the movie’s biggest laughs as the bemused engineer and Rockwell is wonderful as a bit player who would have given anything to have what even the cast of this cult TV show has.

“Galaxy Quest” might not be the best “Star Trek” movie ever made, but it sure is the best movie about “Star Trek” ever made.

‘X-Men’ – Meet the Sentinels

sentinel reagan inauguration

The Sentinels are finally ready for their close-up.

The three-story tall robots, in case you’re not familiar with them, are the hulking menaces used by the government to try to to exterminate mutants in the “X-Men” comics.

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They were introduced in “Uncanny X-Men” 14 in November 1965 and were created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.

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They’re nearly as much the archetypal villain for The X-Men as Hydra is for Captain America.

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The Sentinels were apparently on the “no-no” list at Fox during the years the “X-Men” movies were being made, although I’m not sure why. The only appearance of the robots in the initial round of movies is in a Danger Room practice in “X-Men: The Last Stand.” Wolverine beheads one in a training session after being thrown by Colossus.

They apparently figure prominently in “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” the 2014 feature mixing the classic and new movie casts. Their creator, Bolivar Trask, is played in the movie by Peter Dinklage.

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Could that ‘stache be any cooler or more 1970s period?

At top is a shot from the movie, featuring a Sentinel watching over the Reagan inauguration in the movie’s fractured timeline.

New ‘Thor: The Dark World’ poster

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There’s something old-fashioned, almost “Star Wars” or “Raiders of the Lost Ark” -like, about the new poster for “Thor: The Dark World.”

Maybe it’s the lack of photoshopped photos of the cast, standing in random poses and staring off at nothing.

No, it’s a nicely done and composed poster – not unlike that for “Captain America: The First Avenger” or “Iron Man 3” – that shows the ever-growing cast, including Christopher Eccleston looming as villain Malekith the Accursed.

We even get Idris (“We are canceling the apocalypse!”) Elba as sturdy Heimdall.

“Thor: The Dark World” comes to theaters on Nov. 8.

Coolness: ‘X-Men Days of Future Past’ teaser posters

xmen days of future past teaser posters

It really seems like when it comes to movie posters these days, a lot of studio marketing departments play it safe. Photoshopped images of characters staring off in different directions seem to dominate.

So teaser posters, especially those that focus on individual characters, can be a lot of fun.

Here are a couple of cool ones for “X-Men Days of Future Past.”

One features Patrick Stewart and a hairy James McAvoy as the two faces of Charles (Professor X) Xavier in the time-spanning movie, while the other features Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender as Eric Lehnsherr, the movies’ Magneto.

The effect is cool and kinda freaky.

The posters were released right around the time of Comic Con.

The movie opens in May 2014.

RIP Dennis Farina, Mel Smith

dennis farina crime story

Here’s two gentlemen who departed this mortal coil who couldn’t be more dissimilar. Yet they played huge roles in our entertainment lives.

Dennis Farina has died at age 69. A former Chicago cop who became a beloved character actor, Farina was known for TV series like “Law and Order” and movies like “Get Shorty.”

But a couple of roles will make him live forever for me. One was the mobster in the action comedy “Midnight Run.”

And then there was – as seen above – tough Chicago cop Mike Torrello in “Crime Story,” Michael Mann’s late-1980s follow-up to “Miami Vice.” Stylish and multi-layered in its story of cops, criminals and attorneys, first in Chicago and then Las Vegas, the series was ahead of his time, and Farina was great in it.

mel smith princess bride

Then there’s Mel Smith, a funny Brit best known as the master of “the pit of despair” in “The Princess Bride.”

But my first memory of Smith was “Morons from Outer Space,” a wonderful but little-seen 1985 comedy.

Smith was 60.

Both will be missed.