Category Archives: newspaper comic strips

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 17

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Here’s our regular look at what’s funny in today’s newspaper comics pages. Because nobody wants to hear Charlie Brown scream “AAUGH!” again.

“Classic Peanuts” has one for anyone old enough to remember the kind of skates you strapped onto the bottom of your street shoes. Sally Brown straps them on and then watches as Linus, Snoopy and others whiz by on skateboards. “I feel old-fashioned!” Sally says. I think mild chagrin music would be appropriate here.

Wait, it’s Father’s Day! “Zits” starts things off with the teen son emphasizing that he bought a present for his dad with his own money. “It’s not the gift, it’s the context that counts,” he says.

Ants Go Marching One By One in “Garfield,” and they’re all carrying birthday candles. Garfield thinks he’s hallucinating. Good stuff.

From the “tell me about it” department: In “The Wizard of Id,” a serf kid tells his teacher that his dad helped with his homework. The kid goes home and tells Dad that the teacher said he should be in a remedial class.

Funny “Curtis.” Curtis brings his dad a pizza for Father’s Day and slowly works his way up to asking, “Dad, is mom the only woman you’ve ever loved?” “Think I’ll finish my slice in my bedroom,” Dad says from outside the final panel. It’s the slow build that makes this work.

In “Blondie,” the family gives Dagwood a black velvet painting of Giada DeLaurentiis, Emeril Lagasse and other chefs playing poker. Brought to you by Food Network.

“Beetle Bailey’s” life flashes before his eyes, and this time it’s not because Sarge is beating him to a bloody pulp. I always appreciate the “Beetle” strips that show Beetle in that cool cat college hat he used to wear.

Okay, “Dennis the Menace” made me laugh. Dad tells Dennis that the best Father’s Day present he can give is for Dennis to obey his mother, keep his room clean, mind his manners and stay out of Mr. Wilson’s hair. “Sorry Dad, you’re too late,” Dennis says. “I already got you a tie.”

You just know we couldn’t wrap up Father’s Day without a visit to “The Family Circus.” The kids and pets give Dad ties and other traditional gifts and ask which he liked best. Dad pictures hugging all the kids. But what about the pets, Barfy and Sam and Kittycat? WHAT ABOUT THEM?

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 16

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Hey kids! It’s our recurring look at what’s funny (or not) in today’s funny pages. Cause “Tarzan and the Fire Gods” certainly wasn’t the high point of the newspaper comic reading experience, was it?

“Classic Peanuts” looks, at first glance, to be some kind of cruel joke about the visually impaired. Lucy walks around wearing dark, dark sunglasses, bumping into a fence, tree and finally Charlie Brown on the pitcher’s mound. “Take off those stupid glasses!” He yells. “But I just had an eye exam and my pupils are still dilated!” Lucy shoots back. Not really.

“Zits” has another of those odd ones in which the online activities of teen Jeremy are seemingly manifested in real life. The phrase “mind-groping” is used. This one is a PG-13 strip.

In “Baby Blues,” Dad has to take the kids to the pool. “Why can’t we just get clean in the bathtub like other kids?” Zoe asks. The whole thing makes me wonder: Who is misunderstanding the nature of public pools, Zoe or Dad?

Okay, “Pickles” made me laugh. The old guys are standing in the yard, looking at a tree. “It doesn’t look like I’m going to get any apples off this tree again this year.” They talk about how five years have passed without apples and how “the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago.” The frost might have killed early blossoms. Also: “Plus, we think it might be a plum tree.” Good stuff.

In “The Wizard of Id,” the Wizard’s wife is trimming a tree that’s saying things like “Ouch.” It’s a tree with a face! It talks! Like those trees in “The Wizard of Oz!” Is there a vegetable-rights equivalent of PETA?

“Speed Bump” shows two eight balls talking. “Magic? No, I prefer the term ‘consultant,'” one says.

“Curtis” is excited about the new crop of summer movies and his Dad seems to be too. Then Dad wanders off to bed. “I didn’t catch on to the sarcasm until it was too late,” Curtis says.

And finally, “The Family Circus” settles in to watch TV. But everybody is talking, talking, talking. “Turn up the volume, Daddy — there’s too much talkin’ going on ’round here.” Out of the mouths of couch potatoes!

 

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 15

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It’s a very special time! No, Calvin, not bath time! It’s time for our regular look at what’s funny in newspaper comic strips. Because surely all the fun didn’t go out of the funny pages when Opus left “Bloom County” for other pastures?

In “Classic Peanuts,” Charlie Brown uses Snoopy as a substitute for his kite. Snoopy doesn’t end up in a tree, but he does crash to the ground with a “crunch.” Then Snoopy wakes up and realizes he was having a bad dream. Posthumous points to Sparky Schulz for the surprise and the visuals.

Speaking of Calvin, today’s “Baby Blues” made me smile as the kids quiz Dad about where his car keys are, how you start the car and long his nap was expected to last. Shades of “Calvin and Hobbes” letting the car roll down the driveway and into a ditch.

And speaking of trouble-making kids and meta humor: In “LiO,” the protagonist blows a hole in the panel of the comic with a bazooka (!) and Hagar the Horrible peers through. Nice!

“Dilbert” gave me a warm feeling. Wally outlines his plan for his career. Wonderful.

“Blondie” finds Dagwood, armed with a bow and arrow, hunting a ham. It’s a “Hunger Games” joke. Get it? Sigh.

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 14

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Our regular look at newspaper comic strips. Because surely modern-day comics can top “Superman” building a guy a house!

“Classic Peanuts” shows Snoopy rooting for his “bird tenants” to learn to fly. Once again, Snoopy is surrounded by little blue birds. I just have no memory of any birds, besides little yellow Woodstock, in the strip.

In “Baby Blues,” the kids are jumping on the furniture and calling it “parkour.” Until mom puts a stop to it, that is. Boo, mom!

“The Wizard of Id” finds the king talking about debt. Another political commentary? No. After talking about the kind of debt we can never repay, the king places a wreath on a war memorial. Nice.

After Memorial Day tributes to vets in “Doonesbury” and “Mallard Fillmore,” the military-set “Beetle Bailey” is about … golf.

“Crankshaft” is about that other Memorial Day tradition, the cookout. “It looks like Crankshaft is about to light his grill! Quick! Into the cookout shelter!”

And … OMG you guys! “The Family Circus” brings us another “Billy taking a circuitous path someplace that’s shown to readers as a dotted line!” His mom tells him to hurry to put some letters into the mailbox.

So he hurries out of the room …….. goes through the kitchen and stops at the sink …. hops over his sister on the couch ….. circles around the dinner table …. wanders through the family room …… hops into the baby’s playpen and then hops out ….. goes out the front door …… circles through the front yard a few times … before he gets to the mailbox and calls back to mom, “Too late, mommy! We just missed him!”

I have one comment for the mother: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

For what it’s worth.

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 13

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Our regular look at what’s funny in the funny pages. Because surely “Rex Morgan, MD,” didn’t take the prescription for fun with him when he left?

In “Zits,” the mom tells the teenage son to bring all the dirty dishes from his room and he comes back with a towering stack. “Zits,” the first documentary comic strip.

In “Baby Blues,” the parents watch while their daughter fails at soccer. A nation of Saturday-morning soccer parents winces.

“Speed Bump” shows us two Grim Reapers talking about another, who is wearing one of those annoying “Life is Good” T-shirts over his robe. “I worry about that guy,” one of the reapers says. Amen, brother!

“Dilbert” and “Blondie and Dagwood” address those people at work who drive us crazy: The sociopaths in disguise and the people who don’t give us recognition for our good work. Sometimes they’re one in the same. Sometimes they’re us. (Is that too meta?)

In “The Family Circus,” Mom drills one of the little tykes to say “May I watch TV please, Mommy” panel after panel, then says, “No. You need to get your homework done.” And people wonder why grown children don’t visit their parents in retirement homes.

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 12

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It’s our weekly look at what’s funny in the funny pages. Because surely we’re still enjoying the “tip of the hat” from “They’ll Do It Every Time.”

“Classic Peanuts” gets an “awww” from us this Mother’s Day. Charlie Brown calls Snoopy to the phone. It’s Snoopy’s mom on the other end of the line. Snoopy sniffs and Charlie notes, “On Mother’s Day, you should have called her.” What do you want to bet we’re going to get a lot of Mother’s Day premises today?

Once again, “Baby Blues” hits the target as the kids watch clouds, spouting the scientific names for the types. Dad says somebody invented a lot of new cloud names since he was in school. Mom says, “Probably the same guy who keeps coming up with new ways to confuse me about math.” Right there with ya!

Finally, a good “Wizard of Id,” and it’s a Mother’s Day gag. The king’s mom comes for Mother’s Day and Rodney persuades the king to let his mom be queen for a day. The end result is the king is in irons, hanging in “Wizard of Id’s” Amnesty International-approved dungeon.

“Pickles” has old guy Earl making a BLT but using the dog snacks Beggin’ Strips instead of bacon by mistake. Finally the comics page addresses the societal problem of old people being forced to eat dog food.

Can anybody explain today’s “Speed Bump?” A rainbow leads to a pot of gold. A man finds it and the leprechaun offers his treasure … a french fry? I just don’t get it.

“Hi and Lois” addresses Mother’s Day, of course. Hi notes that Lois doesn’t want anything for Mother’s Day but to be left alone in bed. Marital counselor on speed dial?

“Dennis the Menace” marks Mother’s Day by that age-old gag of male incompetence in the kitchen. Dennis and his dad burn all the bread trying to make toast — in a toaster, for frak’s sake — and burn the eggs. Guess what? the family goes out to eat, just like in “Blondie and Dagwood.” Authorized and paid for by the National Restaurant Association.

Finally, you thought “The Family Circus” would have some maudlin Mother’s Day panel, didn’t you? The strip begins with PJ crying in a store. “I’m right here, PJ,” mom says from nearby. “Heh-heh — Just checkin,'” PJ thinks. When did PJ become that round-headed kid from “Family Guy?”

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 11

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It’s time for our weekly look at newspaper comics. Because surely the funnies didn’t stop being funny when ads for Camels ran alongside “Blondie and Dagwood.” Hey kids! Cigarettes!

“Classic Peanuts” finds Charlie Brown walking along after the little red-haired girl. Chuck is walking seven blocks behind her, fantasizing about what it would be like to walk along with her, go into her house with her, talk with her. Oh, Chuck. You’re cute and pathetic even when you’re being a stalker!

In “Baby Blues,” each parent wakes up with alarm in the middle of the night, accusing the other of scratching with nails. Turns out its Hammie down under the covers, hiding out from a monster in his room. “How did he get past your deadly toenails?” Dad asks. Too true!

Furthering understanding between couples everywhere, “The Wizard of Id” features the wizard’s wife complaining that he never listens to her. The wizard zaps her, freezing her in place, and goes out drinking with friends. He returns and zaps her back into motion again, where she continues her rant. “I love being a wizard,” he thinks. I think: This strip is going to be clipped and put on the billboards of couples counselors everywhere.

“Lio” and “Speed Bump” feature good sight gags. It’s book report day at school and Lio gets thrown out of class for choosing “The Exorcist” over “Winnie the Pooh” or “Goodnight Moon.” And in “Speed Bump,” it’s a road kill truck, rather than an ice cream truck, that draws all the vultures along a stretch of desert road.

“Hi and Lois” shows Lois beating her rugs with a broom because things “get so dusty over the winter.” Neighbor Thirsty’s wife borrows the broom and heads toward Thirsty, a murderous gleam in her eye. Too late for couples counseling here — call 911!

“Hagar the Horrible” tells us doctors play golf.

In “The Family Circus,” one of the kids takes Barfy for a walk. We’ve talked about this before, I’m sure, but Barfy? Really? Did they name the cat Spray Urine on Furniture?

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 10

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In which we look at today’s comics page offerings. Because we can depend on “Batman” for all our laughs anymore.

“Classic Peanuts” shows Charlie Brown’s frustrations when his all-girl outfield leaves during a game to attend a tea party. Snoopy comes to the rescue with a bunch of blue birds. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Snoopy with any birds besides Woodstock before. I’m a little concerned about their relationship.

“Baby Blues” shows the harried mom picking up toys. Ooops, she put the baby in the toy box. The expression on her face in the last panel perfectly captures parental guilt and the feeling of “Did anybody notice that?”

“Garfield.” Two words. Projectile spitting.

“Blondie:” Dagwood uses Earth Day as an excuse not to mow the lawn. What’s the final panel? If you guessed Dagwood on the couch … you’re read “Blondie” before.

“Curtis” has an idea for a different kind of zombie movie. Instead of attacking people and eating brains, the zombie is an annoying houseguest: He leaves the refrigerator open, accidentally deletes his host’s iTunes playlist and … leaves a toe in the breakfast cereal? I can’t count the number of times that’s happened.

Another Earth Day message from “The Family Circus.” The family stands on top of a hill, looking out over a landscape. “God does a lot of coloring in the spring, doesn’t he?” Dolly says. Awww!

 

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 9

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Our look at today’s newspaper comic strips. Because surely the newspaper comics didn’t stop being funny when “Pogo” trudged back into the swamp?

“Classic Peanuts” features Charlie Brown refusing Lucy’s suggestion that he bean a pitcher. A spirited discussion ensues, covering the morality of everything from “the way the early settlers treated the Indians” to “our whole system of freeways.” Schulz did this kind of thing better than anyone.

Good sight gag in “Zits:” The teenage son imagines having an elephant-like trunk instead of a nose so he can eat pizza and mess with his smart phone at the same time. “Creepiest. Idea. Ever.” his friend says. “I’m just saying that evolution could try a lot harder to keep up with technology,” he replies.

True on all counts: In “Pickles,” the protagonist fusses at her husband for eating the chocolate bar she had hidden away. You can’t leave chocolate around and not expect it to be eaten, he replies. “That’s like dropping bacon on the floor in front of a dog and expecting him to ignore it.” As she goes on to explain how carefully she had hidden the candy, the dog walks in and thinks, “Did someone say bacon?”

Great “Doonesbury” today: Soldier Melanie, disappointed she hasn’t heard from her family, calls home. Her brother explains that the kids have been sick or busy with activities. “Sounds crazy,” she agrees. “Where are you calling from?” he asks. “Afghanistan,” she replies. “Wait, we’re still there?” her brother asks.

“Beetle Bailey” rushes past the door to Sarge’s office to avoid the big bully. “I feel a strong breeze in here,” Sarge says. “And it smells like Beetle,” another soldier says. Wait, they know their troops by how they smell? So do they even use dog tags anymore?

In “The Family Circus,” Jeffy runs around inside the house like a madman, jumping over furniture, jumping on the bed, doing backflips. He’s exhausted and settles in his bed when his mom scolds him for not getting outside and getting exercise. And thus parkour was born.

 

Madchen Amick fans assemble!

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What do actress Madchen Amick, the newspaper comic panel “The Family Circus” and the giant flying snake thing from the previews for “The Avengers” have in common?

They’re pretty much the most popular topics I’ve written about in this blog.

Since early this week, when I followed up on my “Mad Men” review with an entry noting that Andrea, the old fling of Don Draper who showed up on Don’s doorstep — and under his bed, choked to death, in his fever dream — was played by Amick, hundreds of readers have checked out the blog.

So, in the spirit of cheap plays for page views, I wanted to note the popularity of Amick, best-remembered for most of us as diner waitress Shelly in the cult classic TV series “Twin Peaks.”

I also wanted to note that most sources online appear to agree that Amick, born in 1970 according to her IMDb entry, looks pretty amazing.

It doesn’t take much Googling to determine that clips of Amick, particularly in a bikini from the cable TV series “Californication,” are out there.

Go ahead and Google. I’ll wait.

Anyway, Madchen Amick is now forever enshrined in this blog’s hall of fame, along with Billy, Jeffy and the the rest of the Keane comic strip family as well as the Leviathan or whatever flying beastie the Avengers will face.

Now if there was only some way to get Madchen Amick, the ghostly grandparents from “The Family Circus” and the flying snake thing from “The Avengers” all into the same blog item.

Hmm.