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The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 18

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Here’s our regular look at what’s funny (or not) in the funny pages. Because Cathy left us wanting more chocolate and redundant lists of things.

“Classic Peanuts” shows Lucy walking past Linus, in I’ve-got-my-blanket-and-I’ve-tuned-out-the-world mode, and hearing music. She whips the blanket away and finds … Linus listening to what’s probably a transistor radio. We remember those, right? Okay, just tell your kids it’s a Walkman. What? Okay, tell your kids it’s a Discman. What? Okay …

“Pickles” made me laugh. Grampa’s head yields a lifetime of bumps and scars and stories, like when he fell down a flight of stairs, fell out of a shopping cart and got hit in the head with a monkey wrench. “That might explain a lot about Grampa,” the kid says to the dog.

My standards must be low today. “The Wizard of Id” made me laugh. The prisoner asks for “fresh” food and the guard brings him a cooked organic chicken. The chicken came from the farm of a friend, where “it spent its days running around in the sunshine.” The prison sobs. “I just realized I’m jealous of a dead chicken,” the prisoner says from his dank cell.

Often, “Lio” is weird. Sometimes funny too. Today an old man gets a coupon for a free scoop of ice cream. Excited, he runs outside, only to see Lio, remote control in hand, setting off a nuclear explosion with resulting mushroom cloud. Hmmm.

Great “Speed Bump” today. On stage is a rock band, thrashing and shouting lyrics, with an excited crowd watching. At the back of the crowd, an older man and woman. “I hear the morning church service is less contemporary,” he says.

And finally, “The Family Circus” gives us another reason to love the Keane kids. Mom is looking exhausted as she ushers the kids out of the room. “How come when Mommy gets tired WE have to go to bed!” one of the boys complains. “It’s not even that dark outside yet,” Dolly (that’s the girl, right?) says. You know what would make this panel 100 percent better? Eliminating that second line of dialogue. The first was punchline enough.

 

 

 

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 12

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It’s our weekly look at what’s funny in the funny pages. Because surely we’re still enjoying the “tip of the hat” from “They’ll Do It Every Time.”

“Classic Peanuts” gets an “awww” from us this Mother’s Day. Charlie Brown calls Snoopy to the phone. It’s Snoopy’s mom on the other end of the line. Snoopy sniffs and Charlie notes, “On Mother’s Day, you should have called her.” What do you want to bet we’re going to get a lot of Mother’s Day premises today?

Once again, “Baby Blues” hits the target as the kids watch clouds, spouting the scientific names for the types. Dad says somebody invented a lot of new cloud names since he was in school. Mom says, “Probably the same guy who keeps coming up with new ways to confuse me about math.” Right there with ya!

Finally, a good “Wizard of Id,” and it’s a Mother’s Day gag. The king’s mom comes for Mother’s Day and Rodney persuades the king to let his mom be queen for a day. The end result is the king is in irons, hanging in “Wizard of Id’s” Amnesty International-approved dungeon.

“Pickles” has old guy Earl making a BLT but using the dog snacks Beggin’ Strips instead of bacon by mistake. Finally the comics page addresses the societal problem of old people being forced to eat dog food.

Can anybody explain today’s “Speed Bump?” A rainbow leads to a pot of gold. A man finds it and the leprechaun offers his treasure … a french fry? I just don’t get it.

“Hi and Lois” addresses Mother’s Day, of course. Hi notes that Lois doesn’t want anything for Mother’s Day but to be left alone in bed. Marital counselor on speed dial?

“Dennis the Menace” marks Mother’s Day by that age-old gag of male incompetence in the kitchen. Dennis and his dad burn all the bread trying to make toast — in a toaster, for frak’s sake — and burn the eggs. Guess what? the family goes out to eat, just like in “Blondie and Dagwood.” Authorized and paid for by the National Restaurant Association.

Finally, you thought “The Family Circus” would have some maudlin Mother’s Day panel, didn’t you? The strip begins with PJ crying in a store. “I’m right here, PJ,” mom says from nearby. “Heh-heh — Just checkin,'” PJ thinks. When did PJ become that round-headed kid from “Family Guy?”

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 9

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Our look at today’s newspaper comic strips. Because surely the newspaper comics didn’t stop being funny when “Pogo” trudged back into the swamp?

“Classic Peanuts” features Charlie Brown refusing Lucy’s suggestion that he bean a pitcher. A spirited discussion ensues, covering the morality of everything from “the way the early settlers treated the Indians” to “our whole system of freeways.” Schulz did this kind of thing better than anyone.

Good sight gag in “Zits:” The teenage son imagines having an elephant-like trunk instead of a nose so he can eat pizza and mess with his smart phone at the same time. “Creepiest. Idea. Ever.” his friend says. “I’m just saying that evolution could try a lot harder to keep up with technology,” he replies.

True on all counts: In “Pickles,” the protagonist fusses at her husband for eating the chocolate bar she had hidden away. You can’t leave chocolate around and not expect it to be eaten, he replies. “That’s like dropping bacon on the floor in front of a dog and expecting him to ignore it.” As she goes on to explain how carefully she had hidden the candy, the dog walks in and thinks, “Did someone say bacon?”

Great “Doonesbury” today: Soldier Melanie, disappointed she hasn’t heard from her family, calls home. Her brother explains that the kids have been sick or busy with activities. “Sounds crazy,” she agrees. “Where are you calling from?” he asks. “Afghanistan,” she replies. “Wait, we’re still there?” her brother asks.

“Beetle Bailey” rushes past the door to Sarge’s office to avoid the big bully. “I feel a strong breeze in here,” Sarge says. “And it smells like Beetle,” another soldier says. Wait, they know their troops by how they smell? So do they even use dog tags anymore?

In “The Family Circus,” Jeffy runs around inside the house like a madman, jumping over furniture, jumping on the bed, doing backflips. He’s exhausted and settles in his bed when his mom scolds him for not getting outside and getting exercise. And thus parkour was born.

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 8

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Our weekly look at the Sunday funnies. Because surely the best comic strips didn’t set sail with Prince Valiant?

“Classic Peanuts” gives us Charlie Brown vs. the Kite-Eating Tree, Part 127,423. Charlie taunts the “stupid tree,” avowing that it won’t get his kite this time. What does the tree do? It “wumps” over onto the kite. Look at it this way, CB: The tree’s roots are pulled out of the ground, so surely that’s the last time this will happen, no?

“Baby Blues” finds the parents worried that the kids haven’t uncovered all the Easter eggs. They do … except for the one left over from last year. Mercifully, it was on the porch. Otherwise, you know, I think they would have noticed it before now.

“Pickles”: Grandpa advises Nelson not to take it personally that Gramma is grouchy. “We need to be slow to judge others, though, son,” Grandpa says. Then Gramma comes in, announces “I believe these are yours,” and throws dirty laundry all over Grandpa. Funny.

“Lio” shows the little boy wishing for a companion. The Good Fairy turns his doll into a real boy, ala Pinocchio. Final panel: The newly created boy is doing Lio’s homework. Good, very “Calvin and Hobbes.”

I literally laughed out loud at today’s “Dilbert.” A female office worker asks Wally to lunch. He tells her he’s become “digisexual” and is no longer attracted to people. “I only like technology. People creep me out. You’re basically a delivery system for viruses, germs and unreasonable favor requests. I’m willing to take a picture of you, but that’s as far as I’ll go.” he says. “This is the most disturbing conversation I’ve ever had,” she says as Wally snaps a picture. “Thank goodness for photoshop,” he says.

In “Blondie,” Dagwood gives us our second Easter egg hunting joke, finding his treat in the attic. Not a lot of laughs, but it’s topical!

“Foxtrot” brings the Easter funny as the kids dye eggs in a manner that turns the egg inside funny colors, thus convincing kids at school that they’re eating rotten eggs when they takes egg salad sandwiches for lunch. Funny, but do kids take egg salad sandwiches to school anymore? Do kids even eat egg salad anymore?

And it’s the return of Ghostly Grandpa in “The Family Circus.” The spectral ancestor shows baby PJ where to find hidden Easter eggs: On a step (that’s just asking for a smashed egg), under a bush, behind a trash can. Then Grandpa’s ghost lifts PJ up into a tree so he can get one there. Now, let’s think about this for a moment. Grandpa’s ghost lifts PJ up. How can he do that? How can he touch PJ, no less lift him? And what would the rest of the family think if they saw PJ suddenly floating up into a tree, aided by invisible Grandpa? I think the Keanes just wrote the script for the “Poltergeist” reboot.

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 3

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I’m way overdue for a look at the funny pages in this, an irregularly recurring look at newspaper comics.

The premise: The glory days of the newspaper comic ended with “Calvin and Hobbes” and “The Far Side,” but there’s still some good stuff out there. And if not good stuff, at least familiar. And you know the old saying: Familiarity breeds content. That was the old saying, wasn’t it?

In today’s Sunday strips:

“Garfield” talks about the weather. Seriously, this strip sums up my feelings about the transition from winter to spring. Standing outside, Garfield experiences sun, snow, rain, hail and wind. “I’m done with March,” he tells Jon.

Weather is the theme of the day. In “Classic Peanuts,” Linus grumbles about having to walk to school in the rain, worrying that he’ll catch  a cold. When he finally sneezes, he takes it as a sign to head for home. One more weather strip in my Sunday paper and I’ll take it as a sign the cartoonists collaborated like they do for those fabulous annual Arbor Day tributes.

“Pickles” actually has a pretty good joke that cat owners can relate to. Two people dispute the possibility that cats really care about people, noting that a neighbor with gourmet cat food could lure the cat away. “Muffin would never do that to me,” the lady says. “Would you Muffy?” The cat thinks — because cats don’t talk — “I’m doing it now. I actually belong to the lady down the street.” No weather.

In “The Wizard of Id,” campaign leaflets are tossed from a balloon and rain down on people below. Does that count as weather?

“Dilbert” features a robot with attitude that calls for a robot apocalypse. Does the end of the world count as weather? I’m sure the Weather Channel would claim it.

In “Hi and Lois,” one of the kids is sick and hopes he misses school. Hmmm. Counting “Peanuts,” maybe the real trend for today is childhood illness.

Meanwhile, Dagwood considers taking a nap at work.

In “Dennis the Menace,” Dennis and Joey try to hit Margaret with a snowball. I think that counts as weather.

In “The Family Circus,” Dad takes a nap and one of the kids gives him a teddy bear. Awwww …. and dammit. Now I think naps are the trend of the day.

“Non Sequitur” has the little goth kid complaining that it’s snowing when it should be spring. I think that settles the matter:

Weather: 6 (right? right?)

Kids too sick to go to school: 2

Grown men taking naps: 2.

 

The Great Newspaper Comics Challenge Part 1

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A couple of days ago I noted that Dick Tracy, in a recent strip, cracked that he didn’t really have time to read newspaper comic strips anymore. Aside from the meta reference there, I found it to be a sad but true commentary on the state of the funny pages.

I haven’t made a daily devotion of newspaper comic strips since the passing of Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side. In the newsroom where I worked, we made a daily ritual of weighing in on The Far Side each day. Who got it? Who didn’t?

So I’m checking out the daily funnies again, hoping something will catch my eye and become a regular thang.

For Better or For Worse: If I hadn’t heard that the strip had virtually stopped production and dipped back into its own history, I might wonder why the family’s kids were little again and there was less drama and tragedy in the strip. So there’s a “been there, read that” feel to the strip now.

Baby Blues and Crankshaft: Strips that mine the dawn and sunset of life for humor, these two are pretty dependably amusing.

Beetle Bailey: Hmmm. Has anyone else noticed this trend? It seems like Sarge can be pretty hard on Beetle.

Blondie: Dagwood makes a joke about food or sports. Blondie makes a joke about shopping. Repeat.

Lockhorns: This couple is always kind of insulting each other. I think this is a bad sign for their marriage.

Pickles: After the cantankerous old guy observes his wife putting on makeup and notes, “My grandpa had a saying … Even an old barn looks good with a fresh coat of paint,” He finds himself out on the stoop. “I just realized why grandpa got locked out of the house so often.” Pretty good.

Dilbert: The strip might be most appealing to office workers, but you’ve got to admire Scott Adams’ diligence in exploring the many facets of idiotic bosses and shiftless workers.

Today’s strip is fine, but my favorite Dilbert — maybe of all time — was a few weeks ago.

Be back in a couple of days with part two.